Old owner's manuals did a lot more than tell you how to work on your machine. In the case of motorcycles, they provided helpful riding tips, even if the advice from foreign manufacturers suffered in translation. This bit of wisdom--complete with mangled English and misspellings--comes from a circa 1960 Honda motorcycle owner's manual: "At the rise of the hand by policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him by or otherwise disrespect him." It goes on to say, "When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage, tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning, Hi! Hi!" And even more importantly, "Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in roadway. Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes." And finally it states, "Your safety is our main concern. Ride right and be safe. Instructables can be confusable."

I'm a huge fan of Vincent motorcycles. Vincents were big and fast. Knowing that its bikes were so potent, the company preferred to sell them to what it called "discerning riders." But despite the expertise of its customers, the manufacturer realized that the owner's manual had an important job to do. For instance, the Vincent Series A was nicknamed "the plumber's nightmare" because its tubing and plumbing ran everywhere. It was one of the most complicated motorcycles ever built. So, here's some handy advice from the 1938 Vincent Series A rider's manual: "After 1000 miles owner should disassemble entire engine, check everything, reassemble."

Let's face it, the truth is that it's almost impossible for the average owner to do any real work on a modern car. But even without all the detailed maintenance instructions of older manuals, new owner's manuals are nearly as thick as a small dictionary. Mostly they're full of warnings about things you shouldn't do. The typical new-car manual has such important information as, "Warning! Do not drink the liquid contents of the battery." Or, "Caution! Always check with dealer before putting air in the tires." Checking the tire pressure is given the same amount of importance as if you were taking off a cylinder head. I've even seen one manual that instructs the owner to increase tire pressure by 2 psi if there's one suitcase in the trunk.

Before the manufacturers were writing tomes full of warnings and incomprehensible instructions for things like setting the clock, they were telling you how to spend your weekends. Almost all the old British motorcycle manuals suggest that you "remove and decoke" the cylinder head monthly--as in, scrape off the carbon deposits. Like you didn't have anything better to do with your spare time?

The BSA Gold Star manual notes, "The maintenance and tuning instructions assume that the person working on this machine is an experienced motorcyclist and has the necessary engineering knowledge." Another note states, "If for any reason, the maximum safe engine speed has been exceeded, the valves should be regarded with suspicion. If in doubt, new valves should be fitted."

Nobody thinks about valves today, but years ago, all kinds of valves were important. The MG TD owner's manual has an entire page on tire valves. I'm not making this up. MG actually wanted you to carry spare tire valve interiors--the little mechanism that keeps air inside the tire and allows you to add more air when the tire is low. MG suggested you pack valve interiors in the car's toolkit.

Toolkits? How many cars have them today?

I guess it's just as well. If they provided tools, dealers would lose business and manufacturers would have to go back to telling you how to fix your car.